Our story of loss, hope and happiness

I haven’t told the whole story in years. I’ve somehow managed to split the journey in two – the dark period before Margs and the happy period after. There was just so much awful stuff before baby girl that on some level I needed to make that distinction so that I didn’t have to continue facing the details of what exactly happened to us and how ridiculously difficult and unfair our journey to becoming parents to an earthly child was.

I wrote a post about feeling like my family was not complete months ago without really explaining the difficulties I face. I’ve spent weeks analyzing options and scenarios and unfortunately I’m no closer to making a decision than I was before. It did however occur to me that many of you fine folks have only gotten bits and pieces of the story and probably think I’m crazy for being so scared. Again, I’ve intentionally avoided sharing the whole story because it sucks and it hurts and most days I’m perfectly content pretending it didn’t really happen (not the most effective way of dealing with grief – I know).

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So, can I tell you a story? Can I tell you about my babies?

In 2012 I got pregnant- it wasn’t a planned pregnancy because Mer and I were still sorting out our financials in anticipation of starting a family but we were thrilled regardless. At 12 weeks we found out we were expecting twins which left us amazed and terrified. We soon got to work preparing for our babies – 2 cribs, 2 car seats, 2 bouncers – you get the drift. By the time I was 18 weeks pregnant we essentially had everything in order because we were having twins and had been warned that it could be a difficult pregnancy and we should anticipate preparing for them early – if we only knew.

At 20 weeks and 3 days pregnant I woke up to spotting. I called my hospital triage who told me to take a shower and lay down but present to triage if it persisted. I had an appointment for my anatomy scan later that afternoon and figured I’d mention it then if it persisted. Later that morning, the bleeding intensified – we were scared and so we chose to head to the hospital to get checked out. The details of that day are pretty hazy now but I believe they gave me a urine test (which came back negative) and sent me home with orders to rest and that ultimately bleeding “sometimes” happens. They didn’t check my cervix which I’ve learned is standard procedure in twin pregnancies after the 20 week mark.

We headed home where we ate pogos (I haven’t eaten once since) and discussed how thankful we were that the bleeding was “normal” and nothing “significant”. I remember saying to Mer “Phew, I’m so glad they are okay – I cannot imagine losing them now”.

Later that afternoon we headed to my scheduled appointment for our anatomy scan where we were super excited to find out if the twins were girls or boys (our attitude about scans and such has changed so so much since then). Little did we know our life was about to change forever.

I remember things like “the babies looks so good”, “I want to do a vaginal u/s to check but I’d never forgive myself if your water breaks”, “it’s really too too bad”.

We had no idea what was going – we had no idea what was about to happen. We had no idea that this was the beginning of the end.

With orders to head back to the hospital Mer and I loaded ourselves into the car and drove back to the hospital that had sent me home earlier that morning with nothing to worry about. This time, they were waiting for me and put me into a bed immediately.

I spent the next 3 days in trendelenburg position, meaning I was laying head down with my feat well above my head hoping that my membranes would recede.

Oh, did I forget to tell you that part? I was 4cm dilated with bulging membranes the day of our scan.

On the second day at the hospital my doctor came to visit. She sat by my bedside and told me it wasn’t good. She explained that I had 2 choices – 1) I could opt to terminate the pregnancy or 2) agree to be transferred to another hospital facility with a neonatal intensive care unit where I’d stay on bed rest until the babies came.

We opted for a transfer.

After arriving at the new facility I had a team of perintologists examine me and explain my harsh new reality. I was essentially in pre-term labor, my cervix was too weak to hold my babies in and that we could try prolonged bed rest but that decision came with risks of infection and septicemia. There were no other options because at 4cm dilated any of the emergency procedures they could have tried would have either ruptured my membranes or resulted in infection.

We opted to take the risk and have me hospitalized to basically wait out the rest of my pregnancy hanging upside down.

After two days of waiting, praying and waiting some more the twins decided that it was time.

We were escorted down to the specialized birthing unit where moms are giving birth to babies who will die (it sounds harsh but it’s the truth). I believe there were 6 of us there at the same time and by a complete accident I ended up connecting with one of the other moms a year later. The universe is weird that way.

I labored for approximately 4 hours and our precious little girls were born.

Both babies were born alive although by legal standards they are considered a “stillbirth”. Mer held them both as they took their last breaths. I remember this moment vaguely (I was sedated with large amounts of Ativan at the time) although Mer reminds me often that I held both their little hands and sang to them.

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3 weeks later I hemorrhaged and nearly lost my life and had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding.

I got pregnant again 6 months later. A second set of twins. We were optimistic since I’d found a phenomenal new doctor who had an amazing plan to keep me pregnant. I found out that we’d lost the that set of twins at around 7 weeks pregnant and had another D&C because my body wouldn’t miscarry on its own.

The next 18 months were spent having surgery after surgery. I was diagnosed with a septate uterus, ashermans syndrome and the MTHFR gene.

Basically my uterus was misshapen and full of scars which I was told was likely going to leave me infertile because of the D&Cs. I was told not to get my hopes up.

I got pregnant again in the summer of 2014 and miscarried days after finding out.

By 2015 after trying to get pregnant for nearly a year, Mer and I started exploring other options. We either needed to come to terms with being child free or look into adoption aggressively. At our ages and with the wait period involved in an international adoption we knew we needed to figure out what our life path would be.

In the meantime I was working and trying to put all these hardships behind me. Then, in April 2015 I found out I was pregnant with Margs.

The world stopped and I gave up my career, my graduate program and my life in the real world so I could gestate this tiny baby. I did not believe for one minute that we’d get to bring her home and as each day passed I mentally prepared myself for it being the last. The odds were stacked against us but by some form of an enormous miracle she’s here and she’s safe.

It took me 67 days to write this post start to finish. I completely underestimated the power of words – this has been the most difficult piece of writing I’ve written for TTBH and most days I wiped away tears as I typed. Words hurt and are so liberating at the same time.

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241 comments

  1. So very sorry for your losses. Sharing your story must have been very hard, at the same time I hope it’s helped you in some small way to let it out.

  2. Thank you for sharing this. I ma so sorry you went through so much pain and heart break. What a perfect little miracle your baby girl is.

    We couldn’t get pregnant. Nobody knows why – every test ran was perfectly normal. Going through infertility is a roller coaster ride of emotions I don’t wish on anyone. In the end, it never worked and we chose adoption which brought our little Wyatt to us.

    1. So glad Wyatt came into your lives! It really isn’t something I’d wish on anyone – I unfortunately understand exactly what you mean. It’s really so so unfair.

      Thank you so so much for reading and sharing your story with me. ❤

  3. So much love for your family. I think I’ve told you before we also had four miscarriages before we got pregnant with our daughter, who was born at 24 weeks and spent three months in out local NICU.

    I’m writing about our experience and I’ve had to stop many times because the memory of the fear and grief was still so strong, it has stopped me in my tracks.

    It is such an incredibly raw and difficult time, I am so grateful you felt comfortable sharing with us. Thank you and my love to you all.

    1. Yes we’ve spoken about it before I believe. You are amazing lady!

      Writing it does really help. It’s hard to do and I stopped many many times along the way but it feels good to have it all in one place.

      Thank you for taking the time to read ❤

  4. Thanks for sharing this story with us. I’m sorry for your losses. I had a baby girl who passed away just days after her birth at 34 weeks old. It is hard to write it down, but also freeing in a way. 💓

  5. Sorry for the loss you have suffered. My wife and I have been trying for over 3 years now, with a few losses. It is something I never thought I could endure but somehow you find a way to wake up the next day. No happy ending for us yet, starting IUI this month so we are ‘hopeful’.

      1. Thank you Jenny 🙂 We did not get any concrete answer. The best guess was a buildup of fluid in the fallopian tubes. My wife had laparoscopic surgery to decide wether to remove the tubes or not, we were lucky enough to be able to keep both tubes as there was no fluid just a kink.

  6. Your story is beautifully hard. I’m so sorry you experienced this! I hope that you were able to get a little bit of comfort in sharing yours and your babies story. I know as a mother whos experienced multiple losses, I feel and share your grief. ♡ Have a beautiful day!

  7. your words have moved me to tears. I too have lost babies but have never had to deliver, I can’t imagine what you have been through. Hugging my son sometimes makes me cry thinking of those hands I’ve never held – once or twice he has wiped them away and smiled at me, in a way I think he understands more than you would think. thank you so much for sharing x

    1. I don’t often talk about the delivery part of it because honestly what can you really say ya know? I was basically delivering babies that I knew would either have passed or would pass shortly after birth. It’s really quite surreal.

      Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading ❤

  8. Also, Jenny, this may or may not comfort you, but when we had suffered so many losses, reading this gave me a great deal of comfort.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/10/your-babys-leftover-dna-is-making-you-stronger/381140/

    In short, it says that research finds that the DNA of your pregnancies becomes part of you, staying in your body and blood and joining in future pregnancies. For me, it meant in some way, the babies we lost live on in me and our children. The thought of it gave me some peace when I needed it the most.

    1. I have seen this and while I read it I felt at peace I guess that although they are not here physical world they will always be part of me. It’s really quite amazing.

  9. I found this incredibly touching and beautifully written. This hits close to home as I lost a little angel before my two that I have now. It was such a painful time and I appreciate your strength in sharing your story.

  10. thank you for being so brave and sharing your story. I hope there was some cathartic or therapeutic elements amongst what must have been a very painful experience in recounting the experience. Loss is such an important thing to share because it is so common, and yet feels so isolating. Your story will help many people feel less alone. X

  11. Jenny, thank you. I think it’s so important that we share our experiences, no matter how painful. It helps us manage our fears, our grief. And, as a blogger with a following like yours, it will also help so many more women who have gone through, or will go through the hell you’ve experienced. Blessings to you and your little angels in the ether, and to those here on earth. I love your blog. I’m so glad you found me so that I could find you.

  12. Thank you for sharing your story. Words are incredibly powerful & can be healing too. We are coming up on our first born’s Birthday & I am 29 weeks pregnant. Kaia Gene lived for 93min at 23wks & I pray everyday to hold & watch my Mara Joy grow & grow.

    I pray too that all of her pieces are working together & functioning as needed. So far so good, but of course her heart is dextro positioned & her kidneys are unilateral.

    We never know what we’re getting into as parents do we?

    Thanks again.

    1. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Kaia is so luck to have you as your mom ❤ Thinking of you and Mara Joy! Crossing my fingers for you and that precious baby.

  13. Thank you for sharing your story. So much heartache “before” and so much joy “now”. I totally understand having to mentally separate it. We’ve had three early miscarriages. 🙁 Still waiting for our rainbow baby!

      1. I have Polycystic Ovaries, which messes with my hormones. The levels don’t rise and fall as they should, including progesterone, estrogen, LH….meaning I don’t even ovulate on my own. My current doctor believes it was a lack of progesterone that has kept my pregnancies from continuing. We’ve started taking progesterone suppositories each cycle in hopes that will help. We’ve tried three round since November 2016, 2 with IUI without success. We are taking a month break and doing another IUI in April. I’m hopeful that low progesterone was the issue all along.

        1. I ended up being diagnosed with PCOS when I was pregnant with Margs.

          I took 600mg of prometrium daily from the time I got my first HPT to 37ish weeks? 2 capsules AM, afternoon and bedtime.

          First, she used it to treat my low progesterone but kept me on it because it keeps the uterus and cervix happy during pregnancy.

          Have you been given metaformin?

  14. This is so difficult. We had two miscarriages before our daughter was born. If there is one thing I am grateful for it’s that we lost them so early. I cannot imagine having prepared for our babies and lost them halfway through a pregnancy. It’s absolutely heartbreaking and I am so sorry for your losses. I completely understand the fear you have trying again. It takes so much strength and to make it through TTC and a pregnancy after losing so much.

    1. I have horrible flashbacks of what it was like after we came home from the hospital. It’s surreal – I went in pregnant and came home not pregnant with no babies and had to face a nursery. It was unreal. After 2 or 3 days I had Mer load everything up and return it to Toys R Us – the woman working there asked me why we were returning the stuff. Naturally, I burst out crying.

      I dunno, but when you see a woman who probably looks a little pregnant with puffy eyes and 9 cart loads of stuff to return there’s a pretty good change she’s returning the stuff for a really heartbreaking reason.

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me and taking the time to read – it means so so much to me.

      1. I actually read it a few days ago in my email and was trying to comment but couldn’t find it on your blog. I was so happy when it popped up again. I’m doing well these days. Filled with new hope. Thank you again for sharing <3

        1. Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to comment. this post was actually accidentally published on Friday when it was only supposed to be made public on Monday. <3

  15. Such a difficult journey! My late wife Laurie wanted children but life had other ideas. Bad marriages and menopause at 27 prevented her from being a Mom. We met in our late 40s so adoption was not possible. There is no greater joy or no greater loss than that of a child. I hope all your love and blessings collaborate to make this child an amazing person!

      1. It is true that I lost a beautiful woman. What I gained with her in my life and the perspective I have aquired is a wonderful blessing. Remember the loss but look for blessings in the loss. Grief is personal but real joy is easily shared! Be joyful and at peace with your loss. Bless you Jenny

  16. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of all your beautiful little babies. And so happy that you now have your little girl in your life. Thank you for sharing your story it was such a powerful and moving piece of writing. Thank You. I will you and your family all the best.

  17. Jenny, I give you all the credit in the world for not only living through this trauma but sharing your story. You are strong and likely have such appreciation for every moment as a mother, good or bad. Love to you and your angels…all of them.

  18. Thank you for sharing this post with us and helping to open up a dialogue on this topic. I have never gone through anything similar, but know those who have and I often don’t know what I should or could say to them. What are some good ways you wouldn’t mind someone saying to you in consolation?

    1. Hi Paula! Thank you so much for taking the time to read 😘

      As for what to say I think your best bet is a simple I’m sorry. Often I found people were trying to make me feel better by saying things they thought might be helpful but it would add salt to an open wound ya know? The one that really upset me the most was probably “at least you can get pregnant, try again soon”. Although well meaning I personally was facing a situation where I may not be able to carry a child so it only reminded me of that.

      I might write a post about this soon because I think it’s so important.

  19. You have been through so much. I’m sure it took a great deal of strength to write this down. I’m an old man and father and you brought tears to my eyes. Have you thought of publishing these struggles to express your emotions to women experiences the same?

  20. Wow. That’s a tough story. I can’t begin to understand how it felt to experience such a mixture of joy and loss. Thank you for being brave enough to share. Hugs.

  21. I’m so sorry all that happened to you… It must have been traumatic and I know it will always reside within you. You are a brave woman and deserve nothing less than a big hug from everyone that you pulled through. Hugs

  22. Thank you for sharing your journey with us Jenny 🙂 I’d like to know about your support system, do you have family, friends and/or a pastor/church to help you through your grief? Did you seek out any counseling or therapy? I can’t imagine going through this myself without our faith in Jesus and finding our sanity and healing through that. I’m curious to always find out how other people are able to handle losses like this and seem to not lose their sanity. Whatever you can share I’d appreciate it, thanks.

    1. Hey there! Thank you for popping in! 🙂

      I was set up with a therapist by the hospital where the twins were born and I worked with my therapist for the better part of 3 years. She was actually a loss mom herself which helped me enormously because in the beginning I had adopted the mindset that “nobody understood what I was going through”. She really “got it” which helped me be vulnerable and really work through it. She was also around for the losses and issues that happened afterward so it was a real blessing to have someone there and waiting on a week to week basis – especially, when things got really difficult.

      On the home front, Mer and I both have large extended families that really stepped up and supported us through the worst of it.

      It was and still is incredibly difficult. I’m not sure I’ll ever truly be “over” it – I suppose I’ve gotten to a place where I can accept it for what it is ya know?

  23. As soon as I saw the title of your blog post today, I knew I had to read it. Thank you so much for sharing your story, that took guts! I really hope it ultimately helped your grief to be able to express it. I admire your writing and your philosophy on life. Thank you again for sharing.

  24. Thank you so much for sharing this. I was in tears while reading. We had a difficult journey to parenthood too, but nothing like yours.

    You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but I wish I could hug you all the way from Manila.

  25. I could not stop my tears. I want to give you a hug. I had a difficult pregnancy as I had SLE. I was so thankful with each passing day. I can understand why you pause your career and education for the baby’s sack. I did the same for my baby.

  26. I have had a miscarriage before I had my daughter. I still miss that baby that never had a heart beat. But, losing so many babies is something I can’t even fathom. You are strong, woman!

  27. I came here to say thanks for visiting my blog, but man. This post hit me right in the feels. I just lost my twin girls at 18.5 weeks after having a surgery to help save them (they had TTTS). I know how hard it must’ve been to write this, and I know it all still sucks. So… *huuuuuug*.

  28. Such a profound personal story, I cannot imagine the pain and the suffering you have been through, but your story shares the silent realities other women face and it truly reminds us all how much of a privilege bearing children is! How our bodies truly can amaze us at times. I’m glad you finally finished getting this out. not just for yourself, but for others as well. Hope the best for you and your family as you continue to endure and grow!

  29. Thank you for sharing. I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to write this. So many women have stories of loss. I hope that they can be as brave as you and share their stories to help break the silence and heal. Hugs to you ❤

  30. I am so very sorry for your losses, and words can’t begin to describe how much admiration and respect I have for you for sharing your story. I don’t understand your pain specifically, but I do understand the difficulty of telling painful tales. I’m so happy that your rainbow baby arrived, and I wish you and your family the brightest of futures.

  31. I could feel how hard it must have been to write this as I was reading, I can’t begin to imagine what it must have felt like to go through all that and you’re so brave for posting this. But I bet this will help someone somewhere who has been or is going through a similar ordeal.

  32. I was struck by your story of tremendous loss and at such a great price. I am very sorry for your losses.

    Your post was so well written. Thank you for sharing. At times I have clung to pain that was searing, almost afraid to share it. Seems like an odd way to deal with loss, but that is what I did. Later I learned that when we share our loss/grief/pain, we, in some odd way, release it to the universe and therefore allow others to hold it for us – – even if we do not know them personally. Sometimes we NEED help holding our pain. Sometimes it becomes too great to bear and we need a break.

    What joy your Margs has brought to you and your husband. Family is everything and when we hope for children, and are given that privilege, we are indeed blessed beyond imagination.

  33. Terrible and Beautiful to read all at the same time. Thanks for sharing such a emotionally challenging story. I can only imagine the 67 days and the rereads that probably tore at your emotions every time.

  34. Thank you for sharing your story. I can only imagine how hard it was trying to put those words onto paper. You are an inspiraton and a reminder to others of how strong the human spirit can be. Much love to you, Mer and your miracle Margs! x

  35. Wow. I can’t even begin to imagine the emotions that went into writing this blog. My heart hurts for the loss of your little ones and smiles for the hope found in Marg. Great post! Thanks for sharing something so real and personal!

  36. On random days, I think about the loss of my little angels and wonder, ‘why me?’ Then, I hold my 1 year old and say, ‘thank you, God!’ I still mourn my losses and reading your story has made me feel less alone. I have never truly shared my story…and I doubt I am willing to relive it. So, I thank you sincerely for finding the strength to start and selflessly telling it to the end. It has made a difference. You have made a difference.

  37. Dear Jenny, I was very moved by your blog on the struggles and sorrows that brought you to the birth of your little girl. Rather than take up a lot of space on your site I just posted a short story that I wrote years and years ago as I struggled through the devastation of the loss of my first baby. If you have time check it out on MyLittleBird123.

  38. I’m glad that in the end it worked out happily for you! You have your angel now and that’s all that matters, after all. I do know how it is to loose a baby, I had a miscarriage in October 2014. I still remember every single detail, the exact date, hour, feelings, everything… the worst thing that ever happened to me. I was devastated. My gynecologist adviced to wait two months before trying again. And so we did. Three months later we found out we were pregnant, and our baby was born. I’m so blessed and happy I have him. And nevertheless sometimes I still think of that baby, would it be a girl a boy… thank you for sharing ❤️

  39. Such a touching story, I know it is difficult to share such intimate details of your life but writing about it definitely helps you move on. Have a wonderful life with your beautiful family.

  40. Amazing. I had a stillbirth at 38weeks two yrs ago and it tore me up inside. I now have a five month old and his pregnancy was tough. I,however, I’ve never read or heard a more powerful story of this journey of motherhood. It’s remarkable how far you’ve come. Thank you for sharing your story is all I can say.

  41. Reblogged this on Just A Little Something and commented:
    I follow this Blogger and have found her posts to be so honest and pure. This post in particular is about their journey through loss and new life with a rainbow baby. Having people in our family who have experienced this pain and sadness, I hope they, and others find some comfort, and know that someone else truly understands what your going through. ‘Just A Little Something’ I thought I would pass on.

  42. Wow. Thank you for sharing. My sister went through something similar and I saw her fear and tears as we raced to the hospital and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Gosh, I felt this post. Thank you.

  43. First of all, well done for writing such a difficult and tragic true story. You are such a brave, strong lady and I’m so happy you got to bring your baby home in the end. You were so brave to keep trying and I felt every ounce of pain in your words. Bless those little ones you lost and I’m sorry you have been through that process of loss over and over. Thank you for sharing and I wish you. And your family a truly happy life together xxx

  44. Good golly, Miss Molly. What a story, what a mom and dad! and what a blessing, little Marg. Thanks for stopping by LivingCenter and “liking” Measureable Difference. All the best to you and your family…xoxox

  45. in the last three years my sister has lost two kids, one when he was 3 days old and the other when he was one year old…. I have not known such devastation in a woman. we carried her literally in prayers. she is pregnant with a girl. we are very hopeful. thank you for sharing your story….you are the true bible to the man who says there is no God

  46. GOD Bless!

    Can relate to the emotional pain, while writing about the traumatizing experiences of life, a sea of emotions forcing its way as tears, blur the eyes and you try hard to contain them. But invariably they overflow, it takes a lot of courage to continue writing.

    Thanks!

  47. Wow. This was intense and heartbreaking. You are one strong human. Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I are currently trying and I am constantly thinking about the “what ifs”. Although that may not be healthy, I think I need to be prepared for anything. Many blessings to you and your family.

    1. I’m really a statistic so please do not worry yourself with the what ifs. Having said that I’ve learned (maybe the hard way) that TTC and pregnancy is really out of your control despite best efforts. Just take it one day at a time.

      best of luck to you!

  48. Very powerful story. You set everything aside and placed your intention and love on your unborn child and made manifest her birth. Congratulations. She picked you as much as you picked her. Cherish this bond for eternity.

  49. Jenny, thanking for sharing your story. I can only imagine the pain and difficulty to write it down but at the same time it’s a release and inspiration to others who have gone through similar situations. Let’s them know that they aren’t alone. Blessings and best luck to you and your family.

  50. Although painful, thank you for sharing your courageous story. I remember listening to a woman who had an NDE.. when she arrived in heaven there was her Grandmother holding the baby she had lost.. she was told to allow her heart to heal, that they were both in peace and joy.. it was very touching..

  51. Thank you so very much for sharing this part of your world with us. Having had 2 very early miscarriages, I can relate – but not to the depth of where you have been and are. I pray God brings you to a place of closure, and blesses you.

  52. This was very sad to read. My first grandchild was full term stillborn and even though it will be 30 years next month, it is still very sad. My heart breaks for my daughter, who eventually had two healthy daughters after several other pregnancies. I am so happy that you have a healthy daughter now and I know you and her Dad enjoy every moment while still grieving over those precious babies that were lost. Thank you for sharing your story.

  53. So sorry for all your losses. Thanks for sharing your story. I had two mid-term miscarriages and I remember how devastating it was when they happened. But I do have eight children (all grown up now). One miscarriage occurred before any kids and one between the 5 girls and the 3 boys. A miscarriage is so hard even when you have other kids. (((HUGS)))

  54. so happy you finally got Margs. Back in the 1980’s we were trying to get pregnant and i couldn’t conceive because I didn’t ovulate every month. Long story short, I did a fertility drug called Clomid and after one cycle conceived our daughter. it was a lovely time. Next time (2 years later) we tried again and I miscarried at 4 months. I never tried again. But a miracle occurred and 10 years, yes, 10 years later at 41, I was pregnant with our son. Best to you and your family.

  55. Hi Jenny!
    Thank you so, so much for sharing this story, it moved me to tears. The power of words is immense. Thank you also for mentioning how long it took you to write this post. I’m glad you made the move and told the story.
    All the best for you and your family ♥

  56. Jenny! Thanks so much for sharing. Look, there is this friend of mine who has just had a miscarriage. She’s taking it very well. Her article here https://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/mourning-after-miscarriage/19874 says it all. Words, though they hurt, do help. True.
    Have a good day Jenny!
    You have a great blog – full of ‘ordinary’ everyday things and yet extra – ordinary each in their own way. Glad I stumbled on it. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  57. Thanks for visiting my blog. You have a powerful story here. I am so sorry for your losses. I lost my first baby at 8 weeks along and it was the hardest thing I ever went through. I think pregnancy loss is something we should all be able to talk about more and not have to keep silent about. I will definitely be checking out more of your posts.

  58. I now see why you call your little one a rainbow baby. So heartbreaking what happened – but what a miracle that everything worked out in the end. I’ve struggled with infertility for 4 years and have spent thousands at fertility clinics. I can’t get pregnant and they don’t really know why – it’s unexplained infertility. Anyway, you sharing your story makes it less of a taboo topic for us women who are going through similar struggles. Thanks for sharing xo

  59. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. We lost our first child at 13, almost 14 weeks, and I cannot believe the grief of losing so many babies. So so happy to hear that you have your precious Margs. What a gift parenthood really is.

  60. Thank you for sharing your story. Unfortunately I know the feeling very well. I say this because this past June, I lost my son Silas due to cervical incompetency at 21w5d. It was my first pregnancy and I’ve struggled to see myself in another women because the condition only occurs in 1 out of 100 pregnancies. It brings me comfort knowing you were able to have your rainbow moment. Wishing you and your lovely family all the best.

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