Revisiting Kon Mari a Year Later.

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Have you read Kon Mari? I’m sure most people who get here from visiting the #minimalism tag will know all about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. If not, the book basically describes Kon Mari’s method of tidying which is built on the premise that items that bring you joy remain while all the rest are discarded. It’s essentially a how-to guide for decluttering and organizing your home.

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I first read it last year while on bed rest – I enjoyed it the first time around but didn’t necessarily agree with many of her beliefs (more about that another day, maybe.) Anyway, while sorting some books recently I came across it again and decided to give it a second read (ha! take that Kon Mari!).

This time, I read it and felt far more inspired and connected to her words. I still don’t really agree with some of her beliefs. Namely, her notions about objects of sentimental value, collections and photos.   But, I felt far more in touch with what she was saying and sort of had a lightbulb moment.

Maybe, just maybe I’ve been quasi Kon Maring my home and life without really knowing I was doing it. Maybe, just maybe her method allowed me to regain some control over my life – maybe, it’s helped me close a very dark chapter in my life.

Here’s what nearly through me off my chair.

“ when you put your house in order, you put your affairs and your past in order, too”

I find it ironic that my need to simplify really peaked after Margs was born. I find it even more ironic that I’ve been feeling my best physically and emotionally since I’ve minimized the stuff in my life. Could it be that I’ve somehow managed to finally put the past behind me? Is it possible that Kon Mari subconsciously inspired me to declutter my life so that I could finally accept my heartbreak and move through the final stages of my grief?

I’ll never get over losing my babies. I’ll never forget nor will I every fully stop grieving for the future I should have had with them- perhaps though, I’ve minimized my life as a way to bring joy back into my life and finally find the peace I’ve been searching for for so long.

These last few months have involved holding, touching and looking at things that reminded me of my lost babies. One day it was a pair of maternity jeans I wore with the twins. Another it was a sonogram photo of our second set of lost twins. I’ve handled candle holders used for vigils to honor these lost little ones. I’ve been faced with dried flowers from their funerals and hospital bracelets from my numerous surgeries.

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Maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally faced my past.

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  1. December 19, 2016 / 11:04 am

    Aw, how brave of you to share. Even braver, you have acknowledged the past and – through relinquishing these objects – let it go. You won’t forget, but it perhaps won’t remain a weight on your shoulders.

    • December 19, 2016 / 11:05 am

      Exactly. It was time I guess. Time to close the chapter.

  2. December 19, 2016 / 11:34 am

    This is a really touching post. I’m yet to read Kon Mari’s book, but have read many articles and watched many videos about the process of the book and believe to already use a similar process when decluttering and minimising my possessions, however, it is nice to see how it has affected you in such a personal way.

    • December 20, 2016 / 11:03 am

      Thank you 🙂

  3. December 19, 2016 / 12:17 pm

    Thanks for writing this Jenny! I lost twins also and at the time I didn’t have time to mourn which, if you don’t, takes up a place in your heart meant for the life you were meant to live even when loss is part of it. Praying of you!

    • December 20, 2016 / 11:03 am

      I’m so sorry for your loss.

      I thought I had grieved them but in retrospect I became obsessed with having another baby – that’s essentially how I coped.

  4. December 19, 2016 / 1:09 pm

    I’ve never read that book but I have heard her bit about tossing things that don’t bring you joy. After hearing that, I started tossing out/ donating with that phrase in mind…. including things that make me mourn. It doesn’t change the past but it does keep us from getting slapped upside the head by it every time we go in our closets.

    • December 20, 2016 / 11:02 am

      Great point about objects that make you mourn. I’ve held on (not sure why) for long enough. I guess I was finally ready to face them and make a decision.

  5. December 20, 2016 / 10:07 pm

    Thanks to the loving ones in the Tiny Blue House for sharing. Thank you my dear sweet sharing teaching and beautiful mother. I am honored you have shared with me and send you peace for this forthcoming year. Peace and love.

    • December 21, 2016 / 10:28 am

      Thank you

  6. December 20, 2016 / 11:11 pm

    I haven’t read the book. If I ever come across it, I will surely give it a read! I admire your strengths to come to terms with your past and minimalizing your household and life. I need to do these things… it’s hard!

    • December 21, 2016 / 10:28 am

      It’s a good read! Really helps you put things in perspective when it comes to simplifying your life!

  7. Simple & Happy
    December 31, 2016 / 11:47 pm

    I’m so sorry for your losses and you’ve been brave to move forward from this. Kon Mari’s book is a great one and it helped get rid of many things which didn’t bring joy into my life anymore. Have a blessed new year.

    • January 3, 2017 / 8:06 am

      Thank you! Have a wonderful new year!

  8. Thanks Jenny for stopping by my blog. I do know how you feel as I had years ago two miscarriages and went into deep depression after both. I thank you and commend your courage to share with others as I know like I do on my recovery blog, it may help another woman going through the same. I am also a survivor of childhood trauma and live with the mental/emotional effects and challenges of this, but I don’t let it stop me from all the passions I have in life….. Keep up the great work! And very sorry for loss. XoXo

    Author/Columnist, Cat Lyon

    • January 3, 2017 / 7:50 am

      I’m so sorry for your losses as well. It’s really a difficult experience(s) to live through and far more common than anyone really thinks. Talking about it openly is so important.

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